Letting People Bloom

Today, I was listening to an episode of the Faith Matters podcast. Near the end, the guest (Jeff Strong) told a story that resonated with me.  He spoke of his time as a mission leader trying to teach his missionaries how to help people.

“You are finding flowers that haven't bloomed yet. The way you know to help them bloom is to reach down and start trying to pry open the petals of the flowers. You'll find out it hurts the flower and might even kill it. I pointed out to them that even though flowers don't have brains, somehow, God put in them the knowledge of what they need to do. They know how to bloom. You do not need to teach a flower how to bloom. What you need to do is make sure that they have nutrients in the soil, water, and sunlight. And if you do that, they already know how to bloom completely on their own, and people are infinitely smarter than plants.” *I made some edits to improve readability. 

When I counsel people, I often think I see how they can solve their problems. Which sometimes leads me to fall into the trap of needing to “fix” them. It’s so easy to slip into the mindset that we know how someone else should grow. We want to help, but sometimes, in our effort to “help,” we forget how much people are like flowers.

People don’t need us to force their growth. What they need is love, patience, and support. An environment where they feel safe to grow, struggle, and evolve without the feeling of needing to be “fixed.” Real change happens in seasons, and sometimes, the best thing we can do is show love and then step back and let others bloom on their own.

Here’s the hard part. I understand this but have difficulty putting it into action. Being patient and letting others bloom on their own is infuriating. The solution seems so simple, and I can’t comprehend why they don’t just do it. I know their life will be easier (and sometimes, selfishly, mine will too). But not only is this not how flowers and people grow, but this is, of course, not God’s plan.

Forcing change, no matter how good our intentions, is not part of God’s plan for us. His plan is rooted in the agency—the freedom to choose, to grow at our own pace, and to seek Him when we’re ready.

When we recognize that, we can begin to approach those around us with a spirit of patience, love, and grace. We can create an environment where people feel safe to make their own choices, knowing their growth will come in God’s time, not ours. By trusting in God’s plan, we allow the space for others to bloom in their way and time, just as He intends.

I hope I can be better at this.